meOUCH

Well, here we go.  My first blog, journal, foray into public anything.  I know there will be haters and trolls out there, but I reckon I’m quite a strong person so hopefully I can take it.  I’m not looking for approval, sympathy (maybe empathy) or anything like that – just a way to vent about what I’m feeling and how this next challenge travels its course.

Here we are on day 2.  No magic fixes yet, still not a size 10, but I have thrown out all my butter and brioche so at least it’s a start.

Did some research – found out the following (quick disclaimer: my interpretation of NHS website, not a medical or scientific fact-based statement):

• Cholesterol is a fatty substance in the blood.
• Bad cholesterol is what’s left of your total cholesterol score when the good cholesterol is subtracted.  I think the bad cholesteral is the one that is more likely to cause heart problems or a stroke.  Nice.
• High protein in the liver is … let’s just say I wish I hadn’t read that one!

I also weighed myself today and I’m 189.6lb at around 5ft3ins.  Yes, I’m including the .6, not only to be completely honest in all this but also using every chance to see even .1 of a change because to me, that’s still an achievement.  I can’t face measuring myself yet, but suffice to say my measurements are: quite sufficient, too much, more too much.  Just to be clear though, I’m not aiming at particular weight, size etc.  Needless to say the key thing is to get the cholesterol and liver function numbers back into what the doctors call a ‘normal’ range.  Having said that – it would be good to get smaller, stronger and fitter.

Managed to find the plug to my treadmill, hopefully you haven’t fallen off your chair reading that I even have a treadmill.  I bought it about a year ago, got into a good habit with it walking in front of the telly every night, but then I moved house and never got back into it.  I got one without arm rests so that I can get my arms moving as well in an effort to fight the bingo wings along with everything else.

Need to be strong now, not just start well but keep going.  Having a horrid week at work already so that doesn’t help, but at least I was expecting it so half mentally prepared.  Had a shopping trip over the weekend to get lots of fresh vegetables, grains, pulses and so on.  This is one of the sad facts about me – I love all the good food, so this really shouldn’t be a problem to do, but I have to warn you that I won’t be measuring or weighing anything, despite the quantity of what I eat being an issue.  At this point just eating better (and less) is a win so I’ll use the smaller plate trick and see how I get on.  Need to find a way of stopping the mental twitch around 9pm that I haven’t eaten for 2hrs so must need more.  Habit versus need.  Start listening to my body and tummy rather than my head.

Something else at this point is I can’t do away with tea and coffee.  I have no sugar in the former and literally half a teaspoon in the latter.  Also sticking with semi-skimmed cow milk.  I have tried non-dairy milks and found them ok, but small steps needed here.  If I try and do too much too soon or turn this into a chore I will fail, as I simply don’t have the discipline and give up easily, particularly on bad days when I need a treat.  This needs to be a phased change so that it feels normal.  Lots of small wins is my planned approach!